is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
