you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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