Walk of Shame. In a state park.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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