I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
