PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
