i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
