I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
