lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
