This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
