if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
