evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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