at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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