hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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