we made out on top of his cat.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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