i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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