im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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