Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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