went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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