Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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