So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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