I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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