I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
