Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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