Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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