do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
