i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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