just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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