Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
