She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sarcasm needs its own font
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize