That's when you crack a 10am beer
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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