i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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