apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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