i think my mom watched the whole time
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
