you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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