Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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