whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
