I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
