Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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