with your own penis?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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