sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize