Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
