did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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