There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
