thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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