so that wasnt chicken after all
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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