Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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