dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
