I'm really into asian looking animals
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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