shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
