Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
