he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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