am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
