Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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