just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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