I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
