So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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