My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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