so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize