i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
