piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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