I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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