my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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