don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
