The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
