Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Someone came in the potted fern
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
