I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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