My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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