these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
