i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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